Her Job Is Harder

Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine

I work at a large, top-200 law firm in one of the ten most populous cities in the country. The hours can be grueling, there are constant deadlines, and the work is mentally demanding.  Any partner in my particular practice area can assign me work, which means I have more than 30 potential bosses.  At any given time, I am working on projects for three to five partners, all of whom believe that their assignment should take priority over any other work.  As a result, there have been many long days (and long nights).

Moreover, being a lawyer at a large firm is a high-stress endeavor.  Even small mistakes can have significant implications and, as a result, tensions can run high.  And of course, because excellence is expected, partners are unlikely to give much positive feedback for a job well done; instead, the reward for good work is more work.

It doesn’t get much better when I venture outside my office.  Lawyers are often the butt of jokes, and society, in general, has little regard for my profession.   In fact, 34% of Americans say that “lawyers contribute little to nothing to society“?

I do not share this to complain or to engender any sympathy. I’m well compensated for my work and am grateful for the opportunity to work at my firm.  My point is simply that the position of “associate” at a major law firm is generally regarded as a very difficult job. With that said, I make the following observation with great confidence: my wife’s job is harder.
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success

The Best Way to Ensure Your Children’s Success

There is no shortage of advice on what it takes to be a good parent and, specifically, on how to help your child be “successful.”  For example, a quick Google search for the phrase “being the best parent” revealed the following tips:

  • “Give lots of hugs and some kisses.”[1]
  •  “[A]llow ourselves to be the parent we inherently need to be.”[2]
  • “Be involved in your child’s life.”[3]

Admittedly, this is not exactly earth-shattering in terms of its insightfulness.  Nonetheless, it is advice we welcome, because it is vague and simple enough to not expose any of our shortcomings or selfishness.
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crossfit

Health Confessions (or, Why I Don’t Do Crossfit)

  1. I am not enrolled in a Crossfit class. I have nothing against it, but there are very few situations I encounter on a daily—or even an annual—basis that require that level of fitness. While I enjoy physical activity and endeavor to stay reasonably fit (with varying levels of success), there are times in life where a daily 30-minute workout, in addition to the travel time and obligatory post-workout shower, must take a backseat to other obligations. At this stage in my life, the daily workout I get involves playing on the floor with my boys, taking them for “airplane” rides, and occasionally using one of them as a barbell for curls. And I wouldn’t trade that workout for the world.
  2. I do not eat “all organic.” Continue reading
Heal Me From

Something More Powerful Than Cancer

To say that cancer has “touched” us all fails to adequately describe the grabbing, twisting, tearing hands it lays upon our coworkers, our friends, our family.

To say we’ve all been “affected” by cancer doesn’t begin to express the gut-wrenching, heartrending devastation that cancer can leave in its wake.

I wrote this song for a friend that was diagnosed with cancer because I wanted my friend to remember, and I wanted to remind myself, that there is something bigger than cancer.  And because sometimes the fear that seeks to invade our soul is a much more deadly threat than anything that might attack our body.
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Breaking Up with Valentine's Day

Breaking Up with Valentine’s Day

You know that pit in your stomach when you know you have to end a relationship but you are dreading the moment?

Will the other person yell at you, cry incessantly, sit silently without uttering a word . . . .  I suppose if you dated a certain popular songwriter, you’d also have to wonder if she will be penning a song about your relationship in the months to come.  There is also the nagging question: “Am I doing the right thing?”

When I sat across from Valentine (“Val”) a few weeks ago at a quaint little French bistro, I had none of these concerns.  I had outgrown her, and not only did she have a right to hear why, she needed to know why.  The conversation went something like this:
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facebookmovie

No One Is Watching Your Facebook Movie

Lately my Facebook news feed is inundated with posts that say “Here’s my Facebook movie. Find yours at https://facebook.com/lookback/.”

I confess, I watched the first one that popped up, because I wanted to see generally what they looked like.  And then I watched mine.   That was sufficient.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the appeal of watching a compilation of  milestone events in your life, and to the extent those milestone events occurred on (or were captured by) Facebook, that’s great.  But what I don’t understand is why any of us would be under the delusion that others would feel the same intense longing to watch a video recap of our Facebook experience.

Agree?  Disagree?  Let me know.

Save Saeed

Save Saeed – If He Was Your Spouse, Would He Be Worth It?

My predictions:

  1. This will be the most important thing you read today.
  2. Most of you are not likely to do anything about it.

I’m pretty confident about #1.  I’m really hoping I’m wrong about #2.

Here is my question.  If your spouse was being held in a foreign country, regularly beaten, in horrible conditions, deprived of essential medication, and at constant risk of death due to disease, malnutrition, or murder, would you be sufficiently motivated to advocate for his/her release? What if it was your close friend’s spouse, or a neighbor, or a co-worker?
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State of the Union

State of the Union Crib Notes

If you missed the State of the Union Address, but want to be able to discuss it with your friends and co-workers, this is the post for you.

Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or Independent, I have assembled a set of three talking points to enable you to carry on a coherent conversation about this important annual event.  As a bonus, I’ve added a few tips to help you avoid any missteps.  Without further ado:
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FreshlyPressed

I’ve Been “Freshly Pressed”

Just over a week ago I posted a little tribute to my wife, entitled “Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine.” I had the idea for the post over Christmas break, during which I was able to spend an extended amount of time at home with my wife and our two adorable young sons. I quickly realized I was more tired at the end of the day then I was after a day at my job!

This post has had a tremendous response–300,000 views and counting.  And today it was “Freshly Pressed.”  Just a week ago I didn’t even know there was such a thing!

To all who have read and shared this post, thank you.  My hope is that it encourages all of us, no matter our particular situation, to seek to understand and appreciate the contributions of our spouse.

PaintMySky

Song: Paint My Sky

I wrote this song for my wife a few years ago.  I would try and explain the message behind it, but it seems that is a job best left to the lyrics.

Listen here.

Paint my sky
© 2012 by @BowlingWithEd

But you gotta know that you paint my sky,
in all the beautiful shades of colors
And you gotta see that you are in my eye,
as the apple of my wonder
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EverybodyPoops

A Song for All the Potty Trainers

The response to my post–“Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine“–has been overwhelming and certainly has prompted a wide range of responses.  I may address some of the comments in a future post, but today is a good time for a bit of levity.

So for those of you who are potty-training children currently (or who have in the past), I’m confident you will enjoy this song.

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