All posts by James

Husband. Father. Lawyer. Picture Taker. Thought Thinker.

5 Things You Should Always Say to Your Spouse

I read an article recently about the five things you should never say to your spouse.  It wasn’t very good, but it did get me thinking about what things you should say.

1. “Yes.”
First, a word of caution.  Men, this is not meant as a license to blurt out “yes!” when your wife asks if she looks fat in those pants.  Ladies, if your husband is trying in vain to find his keys and mutters, “I’m such an idiot,” that is not the time for an enthusiastic “yes!”

But in most other scenarios, “yes” is a great response. Here are a very few examples:
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Something More Powerful Than Cancer

To say that cancer has “touched” us all fails to adequately describe the grabbing, twisting, tearing hands it lays upon our coworkers, our friends, our family.

To say we’ve all been “affected” by cancer doesn’t begin to express the gut-wrenching, heartrending devastation that cancer can leave in its wake.

I wrote this song for a friend that was diagnosed with cancer because I wanted my friend to remember, and I wanted to remind myself, that there is something bigger than cancer.  And because sometimes the fear that seeks to invade our soul is a much more deadly threat than anything that might attack our body.
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Breaking Up with Valentine’s Day

You know that pit in your stomach when you know you have to end a relationship but you are dreading the moment?

Will the other person yell at you, cry incessantly, sit silently without uttering a word . . . .  I suppose if you dated a certain popular songwriter, you’d also have to wonder if she will be penning a song about your relationship in the months to come.  There is also the nagging question: “Am I doing the right thing?”

When I sat across from Valentine (“Val”) a few weeks ago at a quaint little French bistro, I had none of these concerns.  I had outgrown her, and not only did she have a right to hear why, she needed to know why.  The conversation went something like this:
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No One Is Watching Your Facebook Movie

Lately my Facebook news feed is inundated with posts that say “Here’s my Facebook movie. Find yours at https://facebook.com/lookback/.”

I confess, I watched the first one that popped up, because I wanted to see generally what they looked like.  And then I watched mine.   That was sufficient.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the appeal of watching a compilation of  milestone events in your life, and to the extent those milestone events occurred on (or were captured by) Facebook, that’s great.  But what I don’t understand is why any of us would be under the delusion that others would feel the same intense longing to watch a video recap of our Facebook experience.

Agree?  Disagree?  Let me know.

Save Saeed – If He Was Your Spouse, Would He Be Worth It?

My predictions:

  1. This will be the most important thing you read today.
  2. Most of you are not likely to do anything about it.

I’m pretty confident about #1.  I’m really hoping I’m wrong about #2.

Here is my question.  If your spouse was being held in a foreign country, regularly beaten, in horrible conditions, deprived of essential medication, and at constant risk of death due to disease, malnutrition, or murder, would you be sufficiently motivated to advocate for his/her release? What if it was your close friend’s spouse, or a neighbor, or a co-worker?
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State of the Union Crib Notes

If you missed the State of the Union Address, but want to be able to discuss it with your friends and co-workers, this is the post for you.

Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or Independent, I have assembled a set of three talking points to enable you to carry on a coherent conversation about this important annual event.  As a bonus, I’ve added a few tips to help you avoid any missteps.  Without further ado:
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I’ve Been “Freshly Pressed”

Just over a week ago I posted a little tribute to my wife, entitled “Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine.” I had the idea for the post over Christmas break, during which I was able to spend an extended amount of time at home with my wife and our two adorable young sons. I quickly realized I was more tired at the end of the day then I was after a day at my job!

This post has had a tremendous response–300,000 views and counting.  And today it was “Freshly Pressed.”  Just a week ago I didn’t even know there was such a thing!

To all who have read and shared this post, thank you.  My hope is that it encourages all of us, no matter our particular situation, to seek to understand and appreciate the contributions of our spouse.

A Song for All the Potty Trainers

The response to my post–“Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine“–has been overwhelming and certainly has prompted a wide range of responses.  I may address some of the comments in a future post, but today is a good time for a bit of levity.

So for those of you who are potty-training children currently (or who have in the past), I’m confident you will enjoy this song.