Tag Archives: marriage

Court Tells Florist: “Tolerance” Will Not Tolerate Your Religious Belief

The Washington Attorney General is exerting the weight of his office on a 70-year-old grandmother. Amazingly, that grandmother is still standing. But she could lose everything she owns, all because she is unwilling to abandon her religious convictions and create unique artistic expression that violates her beliefs.

The parties:
Barronelle Stutzman is a mother of eight, a grandmother of 23, and a floral artist. She is the owner of Arlene’s Flowers and Gifts, a corporation founded in 1989 and previously operated by her mother, before Barronelle purchased the company 12 years ago.
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Ashley Madison’s Not-So-Sexy Secret

Noel Biderman really wants you to have an affair.  So much so that he has made illicit passion his life’s passion.

Lest you think Noel is just a benevolent benefactor, tirelessly working to help bring infidelity to your doorstop,  I should point out that Noel is financially incentivized to encourage you to cheat on your spouse. More specifically, Noel makes money if you choose (1) to break your marriage vows, and (2) to utilize his company–Ashley Madison–to do so.   Continue reading Ashley Madison’s Not-So-Sexy Secret

Advice on Love from The Princess Bride

I blogged about The Princess Bride a few weeks ago in my post, 5 Things You Should Always Say to Your Spouse.  After that post, I realized that The Princess Bride has more to say about love and relationships.  Here are a few things that we can learn about love from Westley and Buttercup.

As you wish
1. Act out your love.

Performing acts of service for your spouse is a great way to say “I love you.”  Westley lived out this principle and earned Buttercup’s abiding love.   Incidentally, the book (by William Goldman) tells us exactly what Westley was saying to Buttercup through his act of love:
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5 Things You Should Always Say to Your Spouse

I read an article recently about the five things you should never say to your spouse.  It wasn’t very good, but it did get me thinking about what things you should say.

1. “Yes.”
First, a word of caution.  Men, this is not meant as a license to blurt out “yes!” when your wife asks if she looks fat in those pants.  Ladies, if your husband is trying in vain to find his keys and mutters, “I’m such an idiot,” that is not the time for an enthusiastic “yes!”

But in most other scenarios, “yes” is a great response. Here are a very few examples:
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Breaking Up with Valentine’s Day

You know that pit in your stomach when you know you have to end a relationship but you are dreading the moment?

Will the other person yell at you, cry incessantly, sit silently without uttering a word . . . .  I suppose if you dated a certain popular songwriter, you’d also have to wonder if she will be penning a song about your relationship in the months to come.  There is also the nagging question: “Am I doing the right thing?”

When I sat across from Valentine (“Val”) a few weeks ago at a quaint little French bistro, I had none of these concerns.  I had outgrown her, and not only did she have a right to hear why, she needed to know why.  The conversation went something like this:
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Why My Wife’s Job Is Harder Than Mine

I work at a large, top-200 law firm in one of the ten most populous cities in the country. The hours can be grueling, there are constant deadlines, and the work is mentally demanding.  Any partner in my particular practice area can assign me work, which means I have more than 30 potential bosses.  At any given time, I am working on projects for three to five partners, all of whom believe that their assignment should take priority over any other work.  As a result, there have been many long days (and long nights).

Moreover, being a lawyer at a large firm is a high-stress endeavor.  Even small mistakes can have significant implications and, as a result, tensions can run high.  And of course, because excellence is expected, partners are unlikely to give much positive feedback for a job well done; instead, the reward for good work is more work.

It doesn’t get much better when I venture outside my office.  Lawyers are often the butt of jokes, and society, in general, has little regard for my profession.   In fact, 34% of Americans say that “lawyers contribute little to nothing to society“?

I do not share this to complain or to engender any sympathy. I’m well compensated for my work and am grateful for the opportunity to work at my firm.  My point is simply that the position of “associate” at a major law firm is generally regarded as a very difficult job. With that said, I make the following observation with great confidence: my wife’s job is harder.
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The Best Way to Ensure Your Children’s Success

There is no shortage of advice on what it takes to be a good parent and, specifically, on how to help your child be “successful.”  For example, a quick Google search for the phrase “being the best parent” revealed the following tips:

  • “Give lots of hugs and some kisses.”[1]
  •  “[A]llow ourselves to be the parent we inherently need to be.”[2]
  • “Be involved in your child’s life.”[3]

Admittedly, this is not exactly earth-shattering in terms of its insightfulness.  Nonetheless, it is advice we welcome, because it is vague and simple enough to not expose any of our shortcomings or selfishness.
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